"Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel.
Polonius to Laertes, Hamlet.
I know it's a tad early but adieu, girls. I wish you positive strides in your lives ahead.
The lust for blood galloped through my veins like a pair of ravaging hounds. My trusty broadsword glinted in the sunlight reflecting on my enemies with a reddish tinge warning them of their fate. There was a swish of air as the perfectly tempered piece of metal crushed open a man's skull. He hadn't a chance the poor fellow.
Clouds of dust swirled around the hordes of battling warriors, intermingling with the pre-existing mist that was a permanent inhabitant of the valley. The stench of death rose above all others overwhelming and enveloping us in its claws. I felt ineffectual blows on my battle worn armour. I turned to face my adversary. He was a big man. But that was of no consequence. I used my famous "back swipe" to send his head bouncing over a host of prostrate bodies. Screams of terror pierced through the air already thick with blood curdling cries as I searched for my next trophy.
The ballistas were finally operational.
Huge balls of fire flew through the air with perfectly calculated trajectories, landing in the midst of an already defeated enemy. I sank my sword deep into his chest feeling a warm gush of blood on my face. My nerves tingled as I felt and smelt the sticky fluid. Chaos reigned supreme as the only bridge separating us from the feral heathens burst into flames.
The stench of death was now coupled with the acrid smell of burning skin. The fighting took to the river. Water was my element like all others. I felt no hindrance as I cut my path through a multitude of soldiers. Limbs and dismembered heads flew hither and thither landing in the river like gigantic drops of rain.
An orgasmic pleasure filled me as I looked down at the ruddy colour my armour and sword had acquired. I saw a man running away from the fray, a coward on the run. The chase was on. I rushed out of the river and into the forest after him. He was in my sights. He crawled through a narrow gap in the undergrowth and screamed,
"You will never catch me now!!!".
I roared out my reply,
"You cannot hide from me, in hill or in town.
For I am Mars, the God of War and I will cut you down."
The Americans can't quite believe it. Getting rid of Tony Blair? Are you Brits crazy? Like Thatcher before him, Blair finds that the acclaim abroad lingers even when there is derision at home. Maggie was a legend in the States when she was shoved aside by the Tories, and the same is true of Blair. When he does his farewell tour - part Sinatra, part royal goodbye - he'd be a fool not to make a stop in America. Here the ovations are guaranteed.
Yuvraj Singh (Ind), Michael Hussey (Aus), Ricky Ponting (Aus), Shane Bond (NZ), Irfan Pathan (Ind), Andrew Flintoff (Eng), Mahela Jayawardene (SL), Muttiah Muralidaran (SL), Rahul Dravid (Ind), Kevin Pietersen (Eng), Mohammed Yousuf (Pak), Herschelle Gibbs (SA), Brett Lee (Aus), Shahid Afridi (Pak), Inzamam-ul-Haq (Pak), Adam Gilchrist (Aus), Kumar Sangakkara (SL).
Monty Panesar (Eng), Alastair Cook (Eng), Denesh Ramdin (WI), Malinga Bandara (SL), Mohammed Asif (Pak), Upul Tharanga (SL), Ian Bell (Eng), Shahriar Nafees (BD).