Sunday, December 10, 2006


Last night I heard some very disturbing news. Two people I deeply care about said that their husbands were beating them. First I felt blind rage, then a sense of helpness and finally frustration when they both begged me not to say or do anything about it. Both these ladies are among the kindest and gentlest individuals I know, and it would be a travesty to even consider raising your voice against them, let alone raising a hand. What's worse is that both cases of violence resulted from minor arguements.

Why would they do such a thing? Both these guys are highly educated and successful. They were brought up in a modern manner in big comopolitan cities. They're the same guys who are always buddy buddy with me, who asured me that they would take care of their wives on their wedding days. Are they so insecure and warped that they have to resort to violence to make a point? That too in non-situations. I can't even fathom it. I can't fathom why someone would hit anyone else, woman or man with almost no provocation. Add that to the fact that the victims in question are people they supposedly love makes it all the more disgusting. Would they take it if their children(God forbid) or their sisters are beaten by someone? What kind of sick double standard is that? The scary part is that most people would never believe that these guys are capable of anything of this sort. Imagine the multitude horrors that exist behind closed doors in that case.

Granted that women who don't stand up against this thing are partly to blame. But not everyone has the mental and physical strength to do so. Some need a helping hand. They need to know that there are people who truly care about them willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with them through anything that they have to face.

I felt violent thoughts surging within me but I stilled them preferring to use my mind instead of my fists. I told them both to consult lawyers and make themselves as financially independant as they could, so they could walk out on such nightmares with their heads held high, with courage, instead of cowering in front of some obvious coward.

Also, I know many who have shown this incredible level of mental strength and stood up against this kind of abuse. I humbly offer my admiration and hope that their example will inspire others in the same situation.

Sigh. Is there any hope for the human race?


Anonymous said...

Fucking hell. Mama's best friend Nutan masi was also repeatedly beaten by her husband for years. After leaving him and going back to him, back and forth, she eventually followed him and her children to Muscat, to get the children back and leave him for good. She was murdered there. And her daughter, a close friend of mine at the time, lost her life at the hands of the murderer that day as well. The crime wasn't physically committed by the husband. But in my mother's eye, he remains till this day, the primary suspect.

Men like this are beasts. Tell your friends to get out of the relationships as soon as possible. Once is enough. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth the physical abuse they underwent. And nothing is worth even the risk of going through it again.

Anonymous said...

I know from my own personal experience
that its not easy on the kids either.
it sure as hell aint.

Hari Potter said...

I would never presume to do that Aranyani. That is their decision and theirs only. I only offered my complete support to them no matter what they choose to do.

I didn't mention the kids aspect on purpose. That hurts me the most. I have no words left. GEH.

Anonymous said...

touchy topic...but then you know that.
after years and years of pain and disgust, i realised there's no point in feeling outraged until i channel it and learn somehting from it.
become a better person, raise children someday who grow into strong men and women who don't resort to violence, and who know they have to raise their voice against injustice.
like our parents did with us, no?:)

Hari Potter said...

Exactly. We're lucky that our parents taught us to stand up against injustice.
Unfortunately not everyone is as lucky. :(